Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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