i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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