i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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