Jerry, you need to find god
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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