sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
