I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
