I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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