So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize