just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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