He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
