Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
