New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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