No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
