elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
