should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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