I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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