Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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