I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.