He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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