It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
