The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
