my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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