Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
