In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i wish my penis had a tongue
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
