Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I hate all girls vehemently.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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