Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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