Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
