I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We need to get me chipped asap
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
