Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
