I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize