smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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