dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
