Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
