so that wasnt chicken after all
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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