My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I AM VODKA MAN
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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