I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
