Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
false alarm, still single
Randomize
