it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I need water and some morals
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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