So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
