Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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