I skipped work to stalk him.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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