2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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