Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
