I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize