I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?