you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree