I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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