HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
