The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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