who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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