no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize