Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
