Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize