Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
