Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
