I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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