Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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