My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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