Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
