Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
