I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
