Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
