Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
